So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
