You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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