I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
