i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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