would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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