If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
