Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
