i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
