Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
