Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
