Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
