There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Who died my cat blue again?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
