well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
