My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
