hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
