he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
