bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
