so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
