Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
