The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i've created a new STD.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
