I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
