Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
