As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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