you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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