ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
