You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
