Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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