I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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