I'm eating all of the evidence.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
