isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
