You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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