My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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