i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
