My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
vagina is talking i cant
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
