There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Jerry, you need to find god
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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