we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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