3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I need a burrito and a hug.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
