i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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