No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
