weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
