3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
