I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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