she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
