it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
