At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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