woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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