doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
