im six kinds of drunk right now
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
