Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
