honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
